Mutant Minds

Have you ever been driving down the road and just realized, “Wow! I just ran a stop sign!”?  I am sure this happens every day around the world.  Sadly, this often results in an accident with another vehicle who clearly had the right of way.  My wife almost lost her life to a motorist that ran a stop sign and totaled her car.  She still has the scars today to prove it.

So why is it that those little guardians of the intersection are ignored so often?  There are those who do not like to stop, they just do a quick look and slow down before crossing the intersection.  Then there are those who are in an emergency situation and they do not have time to stop.  But all to often there are those who simply did not see the little guy standing there.  This happens more often when people are driving in an area that is not familiar to them.

How can we “STOP” this intersection folly?

I think one of the reasons for this problem is that the color red is not as visible as some of the other colors we have available today.  I think the new color should be a fluorescent color.

Here are my 5 reasons for the lovely bright magenta:

1.  Fluorescent magenta is a very good color since it is already used as a color to watch out for.  Have you ever seen those fluorescent vested people on the side of the road working or picking up trash?  If you noticed, they are not wearing red.

2.  Fluorescent magenta is also a color that does not appear naturally in our day to day lives like the color red.  When we see it, our minds automatically tell us, “Woe, something is not natural here so pay attention.”  A coworker comes to work wearing red, “Oh such a nice dress.”; they come to work in fluorescent magenta, “Wow, are you working with the road crew today?”

3.  It is also more visible from farther away giving a motorist more time to think about the fact that they need to stop.  This is especially useful for those who need a little more reaction time.

4.  Red is already used as an emergency color.  Firetrucks are a good example of this.  (I have seen fluorescent colored fire trucks now, so there are some who agree with my color choice.)

5.  Fluorescent magenta just looks so bright and cheerful.  Having to stop when you are trying to get somewhere is a bummer.  It helps to brighten the day by looking up and seeing a fluorescent magenta sign.

Maybe one day when you are driving along you will look up and see a fluorescent sign telling you to stop.  Until then, cross those deadly intersections with more caution.  Remember, a sign or traffic light never stops a car from plowing into your side door.

What color do you think a stop sign should be?

Have you or someone you know ever been in a wreck because of a stop sign?

Have you ever been in a super store full of people with their shopping carts everywhere. It can be very chaotic at times especially when people have different driving abilities and manners.

Now I don’t think we need licenses to operate shopping carts in stores, but it would be nice if there was an etiquette code established.

Here is a list of what I think should be shopping cart violations:

1. Flying through the store with a cart like it was a derby course.

2. Leaving a cart in front of a section where someone is waiting to see a product.

3. Block parking – when two carts are parked on opposite sides of the aisle in a way that prevents others from passing.

4. Leaving a cart next to parked cars instead of putting it with the other carts when finished using it.

Do you have any things that you think should be violations?

What if shopping carts had blinkers, would it make things better or worse? Would we even dare add a small horn? I don’t think so, it would be abused by every little kid that could find the button. And believe me, they will find the button.

We could create a special cart and call it “icart”. This would be a robotic shopping cart that would not need to be pushed at all, it would simply follow you everywhere you go in the store.

When left outside after loading your groceries, it would find its way back to the store entrance and park itself with the other carts.

What ideas do you have that you would like to see icart do?

After surviving another very early, early, early Black Friday; I decided to list some things that are essential to your survival if you should ever attempt to do this in the future.

# 1     Tent

You see the item that you have always wanted listed at a price that is five times lower than it should be, but you have to read the small print at the bottom of the ad.  It says there are only ten available.  In order to guarantee that you get one of the only ten that are in the store, you must get in line early.  I mean days early.  To do this you will have to set up your tent outside the front door of the store you are targeting.  Just make sure that you are close enough not to block the entrance, but close enough to prevent those one man tents from butting in front of you.  And make sure you take your last potty brake before the store closes for the night.

# 2     Running Shoes

After hours and hours of walking, you will be glad that you wore these instead of your fancy high heels.  (Don’t even think about dressing up, remember you are getting up at 3:00 in the morning or earlier.)  People will think you are wearing these for comfort, but the real secret is that these will enable you to make that mad dash to the last item before that other woman with the high heels.  These could also save your life; if you are too slow you could get trampled to death.

# 3     Coffee

After your body realizes that you are up way earlier than you are supposed to be, you will need this black, liquid energy boost to get you through the rest of the day.  It can not be just any regular cup of coffee either; it has to be a gourmet brand that costs more than you would normally spend.  After all, you are saving so much money on Black Friday you can splurge just a little bit.  If you get it with an extra shot of caffeine, you might even be able to skip breakfast and get to more of those great sales.

# 4     Extra Credit Card

You need to take an extra credit card.  This serves many purposes, one being that it will come in handy if the magnetic strip on your other one gets worn off by the constant swiping.  It also helps if you have maxed out your other one to its $50,000 limit.  Another benefit is that if the other credit card company freezes your card, thinking it was stolen, then you can keep on shopping without missing a beat.  Think of all the sales you would miss if you were on the phone for an hour talking to an out source in India.

# 5     Aspirin

After days of sleeping out in the cold and waking up early in a tent.  When your feet are hurting so bad that yo can not feel your toes anymore.  When your body realizes that you tricked it with caffeine and sugar.  And when your brain realizes that although you are saving tons of money, you do not have a job good enough to pay back $50,000 plus the other credit card you maxed out.  You will need aspirin or your favorite medical pain relief pills.

Do you have some items that need to be added to this list?

Do you have an interesting tale about your Black Friday survival?

If you have ever worked in an office, at one point in your career you will have to make a trip to the copier.  Some people spend so much time at the copier that their job title should be a “Copier Manager” or a “Copier Attendant”.

Copying is really not a hard job.  It is not like you are digging a ditch outside in the cold or your crunching numbers at a computer screen all day.  Some people even look forward to the time when they get to go make copies.

The feeder tray is a great way to copy; just put your stack of papers in the tray and push the copy button.  It does all the hard work for you.  It sucks in each sheet from your stack and spits out a nice copy or two while you wait.  You might even have some time to fix that cup of coffee you have been wanting all day, and watch other people work while you sip on that cup of java.

Like all jobs, there is the other side of the coin.  You will have those days when you dread going to the copier.  It will be those times when you have to copy every page of a document that has to stay stapled.  And don’t forget those books you have to copy from.  Now we all know that you can’t just shove those down the feeder tray.  No, you will have to lift that huge copier lid up and down for a 100 times.  On a bad day you can just skip going to the gym, because you already had your workout for the day.  Why is it so heavy?  The answer, is that it contains the motor and all the other parts needed to suck your papers from the feeder tray.  You know, on the good copier day.

The solution to all this lifting is simply don’t lift at all.  Just leave that copier lid wide open. (Disclaimer: You should always keep the lid down as it was designed for safety and proper use)  Then all you have to do is just turn the pages and keep placing them on the glass.  Of course now you have these bright flashes of light filling the room all around you as if you were in some mad science lab.  And according to an ophthalmologist, (eye doctor) you can damage your eyes over a period of time by looking at the pretty bright light.  I know it gives you a warm feeling, but that light can also cause skin rashes on some people.

So how can you copy with the lid open?  You could just turn your back each time a copy was made, but all this turning could make you dizzy, and it creates more work, which is what you were trying to avoid in the first place.

The best solution is to use copier sunglasses.  With this protective eye-wear you can copy all day with the lid open, and look stylish too.  And when people ask you where you got your “George Hamilton” tan, you can say, “At work, in my office”.  That is, if you are not one of the people that gets a rash from copier light.

What is your best solution for this lid lifting problem?

If you go for the shades, what style would you choose?

Have you ever had a copier rash?

The year is 2010 and it is amazing to me that this antique wooden pencil is still being used in the world.  You would think that it would only be seen in the Smithsonian as a relic of the past.  But no, you will find it every day in the hands of students, teachers, doctors and every one else. (You can also find it protruding from someone’s ear.)

You would think that by now a child would ask, “Are you really sticking a pencil in that grinding thing to sharpen it?”  Kind of like the time when my daughters asked what that “thing” was when we were visiting a former Soviet block country.  I replied, “That thing, is a rotary phone.”  (For the younger audience – a rotary phone is a phone with a round disc on the front with holes for your fingers to go in so you can spin it to dial a number.)  See, that sounds so archaic, just like using a wooden pencil.  ((Side note – Why did they choose to use the numbers 911 for emergencies back then?  Your house was burning down while you waited for the little disc to return from dialing 9!))

Today we have mechanical pencils, which are the “touch tones” of the pencil world.  Just a click and instantly you have lead at the end of your pencil.  Even these have improved to where all you have to do is shake it to get new lead.  Imagine having five or more pencils all in one.  Load the mechanical pencil up with lead and then write to your heart’s content.

So with this new and modern mechanical pencil, why would you still use a wooden pencil?

Of course a mechanical pencil doesn’t quite look the same as a bright yellow wooden one sticking out of your head.